Relaxing...

This weekend was an absolutely relaxing one. I have been keeping tremendously busy but at the end of the day nothing productive has happened. Finally I've managed to finish reading all the books by Dan Brown and eagerly awaiting his next one to be published!

Watched the Kung Fu Panda ... not a bad movie (especially because I've watched too many BAD movies recently!)

Other than that, I had brought some work home, was struggling with that. Getting accustomed to using new systems and softwares these days ... its fun to play with but you can never be sure what to rely on .. especially when there's no one to train or guide you! Welcome to the real world ... where you are responsible for your actions! Ha!

I've been cooking a few things lately and surprisingly they're coming out quite well and I am so impressed by myself as a result!

Here's the quickest, easiest and quite delicious Indian dessert - Semolina Pudding (Suji ka halwa). I made it on my own to surprise my parents and they were quite surprised I must say :D It smelled too good to be able to resist and click good photographs, but am sure you can get a fair idea from this:

2 weeks ago, we had visited Dover and Canterbury. Canterbury is a city in eastern Kent in the South East region of England and Dover is a port .. very well known .. since it faces France across the narrowest part of the English Channel. We clicked loads of pics, however, the pics cover scenery a bit too much and do not focus on the people!

What have you been upto?

|

Aah .. the irony of life!

Just when I was going home after wishing all my Indian mates a Very Happy Independence Day ... I was surprised to see a lot of Policemen and Policewomen at the London Underground Station. Without paying much attention I continued walking and a second later I was approached by a British Indian Female Police Officer who asked me to come on the side. She told me that she had randomely picked up people and was appointed to 'Stop and Search' people under section 44 or something something. I was taken aback by what was happening with me. She took hold of my extra bag and started looking into my things and in the meantime asked me to produce an ID card if I had. I provided her with my Debit Card and then she took my handbag from me. After satisfying herself, she made notes about me and confirmed my details with the other Police Officials on the walkie-talkie. I had no idea what and why this was going on but did not want to interrupt her. Once the whole process was over and she asked me to go ... all I asked was "On what basis do you select people you want to search?". She replied "It was done on random basis" and started providing me with explanations and telling me how it was necessary to do it because of the 7/7 bombings in London and all that... I had a smirk on my face ... and before leaving I commented "Are you sure that you randomely stop people or is it only Indians?". She explained again that it wasn't only Indians and herself mentioned the word "Colour" and said "We stop everyone irrespective of their colour ... blacks, whites, purples(!!)" and before she could continue I thanked her and left!

I was so pissed off by the incident! I know that this exercise is carried out for our own safety but coincidently I have always seen only Asians being stopped and checked! And the most wonderful thing about this is that I was stopped by an ethnically Asian woman with a British passport! I guess they are more racist than anyone else! I don't mind being searched and stopped .. even though its a bit embarassing but I was wondering as to how justified it is to do so! All the time she wasted on me and her colleague was doing nothing but staring at me ... they did not feel like "randomely stopping and searching" anyone else!

And I celebrated my Indian Independence Day today? Bah!! How ironic is THAT!!

|

Retail Therapy!

|

Venting out !

I have no idea why suddenly everybody's gotten so concerned and inquisitive and well ... intrusive! The moment you give your final exams, everyone pounces on you ... 1) How were they? When's the result? bla bla bla! 2) What plans next? And then you go on explaining to everyone what you DREAM to do and what you CAN do! Sometimes it feels like a prisoner being in this country as an immigrant! I wish things weren't as bad as they are .. especially with the credit crunch and the job market at its lowest now ... my chances of being able to continue successfully in this country are very slim! I've lost all my hope ... I've lost all my passion! Like the rising prices weren't already torturing enough that they made the immigrant laws even more stringent. Even before you apply for a job, you have the rejection letter right in front of you! I'm probably sounding like a complete loser ... but I guess that's what I am now! London ... United Kingdom ... or more popularly known as Great Britain has begun to suffocate me. A place where you have to think twice before you buy something ... how good is it? The quality of life is perhaps good since you get so many things unasked for ... but what's the point of only surviving in this country instead of living? What's the point of earning only so much that you can be hand-to-mouth?

My frustration levels are at their peak now ... am about to break down .. totally! With the future so blurred, I have absolutely no hopes left anymore! I want to study further ... but who'll pay the fees? International student fees mind you! With my parents going back to India soon ... its begun to stress me out completely! The greater is the need for me to find a good job, the more difficult it is to find one! To be honest, am scared of rejections. I know thats a completely loser-types attitude but its true. Things not only end here, to make matters worse dear God gave me a bundle of other problems which seem to be becoming an issue and causing concern to me. There haven't been many days when I have cried the whole day being at work, but last week, Friday, was one of those. There's a strange sense of insecurity and incapability. The more negative I think, the deeper it pulls me in. I have never been so confused in life before! Feelings of self-hatred, self-pity and loneliness are creeping in. A time when I'm asking questions like 'Why only me?'. A stage in life where there is too much desire, want for the unknown and too much discontent. Growing up seems like a punishment, celebrating birthday seems meaningless and being myself seems hopeless! I'm hoping to become more positive about life and things. Hope this 21st birthday puts some sense into my head! Hope I don't get to learn things the harder way (as always) and I hope not to hurt anyone or be hurt by anyone. This is exactly the point when I feel so vulnerable that a feather could shake me from top to bottom!

|

Ranting ...

Its funny when you get rejected even for a Volunteer Job just because you do not hold a permanent visa to stay and work in the UK.

These insecure losers forget the fact that we're paying the same tax as they are and still not able to enjoy the liberties, etc a normal British would.

They also forget the fact that average total income of Indians in the UK (£30,211) is higher than any other ethnic group in the UK, not only that, its higher than their total National Average(£24,568) and this is not because we're higher in number but because we've got gray matter! (and that goes for most of us!)

Enforcing the new rules for Highly Skilled Migrants stating that they and their dependants are required to pass the English language test and provide proof of their knowledge of the English language, if this is NOT discrimination then what is?
Whatever happens to the people from the East Europe, etc coming here without knowing a word of English? Just because they're WHITE in colour they're exempted?

What is the UK economy without us Indians?
Lakshami Mittal? The richest man in the UK ... is an Indian! *surprise surprise!*

Just because these "whites" have better vocal skills does it make them more educated and smarter than someone who's a CA+MBA+ICWA from reputed institutions in India?

What if I don't have a permanent visa to be in this country, does it mean that I need an ID card which can be asked for anywhere and at any time just because I am brown in colour?

Why live a life of a prisoner in this country, when I can enjoy all the luxuries and far better treatment in my own country?
Its taken me 3 yrs to understand this fact ... I would say "Happy Realisation" to myself but at the same time its better late than never!

I don't understand why I spent £30,000+ on my education here when even before applying I get rejected just because am on my dad's dependant visa here in the UK!
The topmost banks and IT firms are not ready to provide people with work permits .... I knew it would be hard from the very beginning itself ... but it's getting demotivating now!

I hate to be struggling here while the British students get paid to study!

I have nothing against anyone personally but the kind of discrimination we have to face puts me off!

Just venting out my frustration ...

|